Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
soo... how was my night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
