Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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