I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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