honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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