so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
