I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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