So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
