Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
