I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
