Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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