you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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