Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
