You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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