All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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