i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
