just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize