Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
