Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
