Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
