either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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