were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
