Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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