he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
they need to just BURY HIM!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
