good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
