She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
