she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize