I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
