I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
