He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
