fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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