Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
