She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
