i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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