Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
