why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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