Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
