hotel room ftw
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
