Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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