my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
