Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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