I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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