Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize