Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
