I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
