A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
