I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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