Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
