In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
