His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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