I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
