Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
