She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
