I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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