I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
