Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
