I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
