what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wish my penis had a tongue
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
