Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The air taste purple.
Randomize
