i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
