addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
