If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
