Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize