Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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