Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize